Many men occasionally ejaculate sooner during sexual intercourse than they or their partner would like. As long as it happens infrequently, it's not cause for concern. However, if you regularly ejaculate sooner than you and your partner wish — such as before intercourse begins or shortly afterward — you may have a condition known as premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation is a common sexual complaint. Estimates vary, but as many as one out of three men may be affected by this problem at some time.
Both psychological and biological factors can play a role in premature ejaculation. Although many men feel embarrassed to talk about it, premature ejaculation is a common and treatable condition.
Medications, psychological counseling and sexual techniques that delay ejaculation can improve sex for you and your partner. For many men, a combination of treatments works best.
The primary sign of premature ejaculation is ejaculation that occurs before both partners wish, causing concern or distress. However, the problem may occur in all sexual situations, even including during masturbation.
Doctors generally classify premature ejaculation as either lifelong (primary) or acquired (secondary).
According to the International Society for Sexual Medicine, lifelong premature ejaculation is characterized by:
The International Society for Sexual Medicine has concluded that there aren't yet enough published data about acquired (secondary) premature ejaculation to publish an evidence-based definition of this condition.
According to the definition in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), published by the American Psychiatric Association, secondary premature ejaculation:
When to see a doctor
Talk with your doctor if you ejaculate sooner than you and your partner wish during most sexual encounters. Although you may feel you should be able to fix the problem on your own, you may need treatment to help you achieve and sustain a satisfying sex life.
For some men, however, a conversation with your doctor may actually reassure you that your occasional premature ejaculation is normal — or possibly not even premature. The range of normal from the beginning of intercourse to ejaculation is generally considered to be two to 10 minutes.
The exact cause of premature ejaculation isn't known. While it was once thought to be only psychological, we now know premature ejaculation is more complicated and involves a complex interaction of both psychological and biological factors.
Psychological causes
Some doctors believe that early sexual experiences may establish a pattern that can be difficult to change later in life, such as:
Other factors that can play a role in causing premature ejaculation include:
Biological causes
A number of biological factors may contribute to premature ejaculation, including:
Rarely, premature ejaculation is caused by:
Although both biological and psychological factors likely play a role in most cases of premature ejaculation, experts think a primarily biological cause is more likely if it has been a lifelong problem (primary premature ejaculation).
Various factors can increase your risk of premature ejaculation, including:
While premature ejaculation doesn't increase your risk of serious health problems, it can cause problems in your personal life, including:
You're likely to first talk with your family doctor or general practitioner about premature ejaculation. Don't hesitate to bring up the topic with your doctor during a general checkup or a visit for other health concerns. Your doctor knows that a healthy sex life is very important to your well-being, and he or she may ask you about your satisfaction with your sex life before you even have a chance to bring it up.
It's normal to feel embarrassed when talking about sexual problems, but you can trust that your doctor has had similar conversations with many of his or her patients. Premature ejaculation is a very common — and treatable — condition.
Being ready to talk about premature ejaculation will help you get the treatment you need to get your sex life back on track. The information below should help you prepare to make the most of your appointment.
Information to write down in advance
Basic questions to ask your doctor
The list below suggests questions to ask your doctor about premature ejaculation. Don't hesitate to ask more questions during your appointment at any time that you don't understand something.
What to expect from your doctor
Your doctor may ask a number of very personal questions and may want to include your partner in the interview. To help your doctor determine the cause of your problem and the best course of treatment, be ready to answer questions such as:
What you can do in the meantime
While you wait for your appointment, consider taking a break from sexual intercourse and instead focusing on other ways of enjoying and connecting with your partner. Premature ejaculation can cause considerable strain and anxiety in a relationship, but it is a treatable condition. Deciding to talk with your doctor is the most important step you can take. In the meantime, enjoy the many other ways in which you and your partner bring each other pleasure.
In addition to a detailed interview about your sex life, your doctor will want to know about your health history and may perform a general physical exam. He or she may refer you to a urologist who specializes in sexual dysfunction or to a mental health professional to help make the diagnosis.
If you have both premature ejaculation and trouble getting or maintaining an erection, your doctor may order blood tests to check your male hormone (testosterone) levels or other tests.
Treatment options for premature ejaculation include sexual therapy, medications and psychotherapy. For many men, a combination of these treatments works best.
Sexual therapy
In some cases, sexual therapy may involve simple steps, such as masturbating an hour or two before intercourse so that you're able to delay ejaculation during sex. Your doctor may also recommend avoiding intercourse for a period of time and focusing on other types of sexual play so that pressure is removed from your sexual encounters.
The squeeze technique
Your doctor may instruct you and your partner in the use of a method called the squeeze technique. This method works as follows:
By repeating this as many times as necessary, you can reach the point of entering your partner without ejaculating. After a few practice sessions, the feeling of knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer requires the squeeze technique.
Medications
Certain antidepressants and topical anesthetic creams are used to treat premature ejaculation. Although none of these drugs is specifically approved by the Food and Drug Administration to treat premature ejaculation, some are used for this purpose. You may need to try different medications or doses before you and your doctor find a treatment that works for you.
Antidepressants
A side effect of certain antidepressants is delayed orgasm. Doctors suggest that men who have premature ejaculation can take antidepressants to benefit from this specific side effect.
Other side effects of these antidepressants can include nausea, dry mouth, drowsiness and decreased libido.
Topical anesthetic creams
Topical anesthetic creams containing lidocaine or prilocaine dull the sensation on the penis to help delay ejaculation. Applied a short time before intercourse, these creams are wiped off when your penis has lost enough sensation to help you delay ejaculation.
Some men using topical anesthetic creams report reduced sexual pleasure because of lessened sensitivity. Although the cream is wiped off before intercourse, in some studies female partners reported that it also reduced their genital sensitivity and sexual pleasure. In rare cases lidocaine or prilocaine can cause an allergic reaction.
Psychotherapy
This approach, also known as counseling or talk therapy, involves talking with a mental health provider about your relationships and experiences. These talk sessions can help you reduce performance anxiety or find effective ways of coping with stress and solving problems. For many couples affected by premature ejaculation, talking with a therapist together may produce the best results.
A recent study compared the effectiveness of yoga to fluoxetine (Prozac) in the treatment of premature ejaculation. Study results showed that yoga and fluoxetine produced similar improvements in the length of time for which study participants were able to have intercourse before ejaculating. More research in this area is needed.
Many men who experience premature ejaculation feel frustrated and even ashamed. It may help you to know that this problem is common and often very treatable. Talk to your doctor if it's causing distress for you or your partner.
While you explore treatment options, consider lifting the pressure off the sexual side of your relationship. Some doctors recommend avoiding intercourse entirely for a short time and sharing other forms of physical pleasure and affection instead. Connecting in this way can help you re-establish a satisfying physical bond with your partner.
Taking the emphasis off intercourse can remove the worry about ejaculating too soon — and it can help lay the foundation for a more fulfilling sexual relationship.
In some cases, premature ejaculation may be caused by poor communication between partners or a lack of understanding of the differences between male and female sexual functioning. Women typically require more-prolonged stimulation than men do to reach orgasm, and this difference can cause sexual resentment between partners and add pressure to sexual encounters. For many men, feeling pressure during sexual intercourse increases the risk of premature ejaculation.
Open communication between sexual partners, as well as a willingness to try a variety of approaches to help both partners achieve satisfaction, can help reduce conflict and performance anxiety. If you're not satisfied with your sexual relationship, talk with your partner about your concerns. Try to approach the topic in a loving way and to avoid blaming your partner for your dissatisfaction.
If you're not able to resolve sexual problems on your own, talk with your doctor. He or she may recommend seeing a therapist who can help you and your partner achieve a fulfilling sexual relationship.